Monday, November 19, 2007
Hi fellas! A new face on my blog. A guest writer. A friend of mine is the guest on my blog for this post. Its his post on my blog.
This is the new face of blogging which I call - Guest blogging.
The guest this post, is Varun Chenna who writes at http://www.varunchenna.blogspot.com/
Dr0p in the comments and encourage this young lad. You can guest blog on my site too. Just scrap me in my profile on orkut and I'll get back to you!
Embryono Cheerio!
-Velcro
---------The guest post starts from here-----------
Name:Ocean Waters
Location:Airbag Industries LLC, California, USA
Profession:Senior Stock Control Officer
25th January, 2007
Hi my name is Ocean Waters. My father was born to his parents when they went on a holiday to an island, hence the name Waters. My mother was born to her parents when they were cruising on the atlantic, hence the name Ocean. Well, pretty unusual for a person who sits on an office desk gets his morning coffee and by the time he takes a sip, it gets cold and tastes like liquid shit. Blame the work load and the coffee maker.
A major security breach occured two weeks ago. A cargo reportedly coming from Haiti was smuggled into the industry. They reportedly contained a chinese drug. The drug is supposed to be so lethal that it kills you if your heart rate drops. So you need to keep doing rigorous stuff and expose yourself to adrenaline pumping activities like getting involved in dangerous activities, fight fear or do foreplay. There is no antibiotic for it. You survive until your adrenaline keeps pumping.
I wasn't there during the check up and had no clue as to how they sneaked that shit in. I was called by my CEO. Such a motherf***** he was.
"Ocean, we got a security breach. I want you to look into this matter as it is a major concern for the company. It is you who has to be blamed for. I want the traitor, alive."
"Sir, but I wasn't there when they smuggled that stuff. I was away on official work so how can I be blamed for it?"
"Hell with your official work. Who sent you out to do somebody else's work?"
"Mitch Baker."
"Fuck Baker. I am your superior. You take orders from me not from some bitch like mitch."
"But, sir"
"No more fucking around. You dont fuck with me now Ocean else you'll see yourself being dragged in a sewer pipe of 500 yards of shit. Now go and get me that motherf*****."
"Yes, Sir".
I started the investigation. Well, I didn't know where to start. I went to strip clubs, walked empty streets, kept an eye on Mitch with a high resolution telescope that can increase or decrease its field of view. I saw people making love, man beating wife, kids watching porn, teens kissing , NRIs selling 'pan' on the golden Californian beaches, Hispanics dancing half naked and Arnold Schwarzanegger, campaigning for the forthcoming elections but no sign of the crook. Then I realised, who am I searching for? Then suddenly the room I was in, filled with an eerie surrounding. There was a strange aura filling the entire room. It was like the northern lights. I felt I was on a space odyssey. Then the room was filled with a strange smoky odour that was very familiar to what my grandma used to use when she went clubbin'. The door separating the living room and the dining area opened and the smoke rushed to take the shape of a woman. I was at a distance and it looked very hazy because of the smoke. The form sharpened and could see a really hot woman with good "twins". I couldn't see the face but i felt there was no firmness in the woman's body as i kept observing and moving forward. I realised that she wasn't a hot woman anymore. Just an old lady with nothing to lose, came back as if a prophecy was coming true. I guess she took the form of an oracle to predict the unforeseen.
"Oooceaaan!", she called out.
"How, how do you know my name?"
"That's because I changed your diapers when you dropped stuff into them. Your father beat the shit outta your ass for stealin his money from his wallet."
"What the.... Who are you?"
"Your Grandmother, you dork"
"Grandma, is that you?"
"No, its Elizabeth Bathory who came to castrate you. It is very much me you shit head."
"What are you doing here? You are supposed to be in heaven."
"I took leave for a day to help you solve the mystery. God wasn't allowing but I persuaded him that you cannot do it with your bird-brain."
"Grandma you are trying to offend me."
"Oh shut up, you puny little piece o' crap."
"Aaaarghh!"
"Yea Yea!"
"Alright so where do I start from. I have no clue as to where to look for and what to look for."
"You never had any clues."
"Yea, so help me then."
"The thing for which you look for is right where you thought it could have never been. Think for the reasons. Ask yourself why you had to do this, why you had to do that or why you had to go there instead of somewhere there."
"I didn't get you"
"Alright just think."
"Ok I got it. So what should I think about?"
"About how to effectively please a woman sensually."
"Grandmaaaaa"
"Then what you punk? Think why you had to be replaced with someone else? Think what was the need? Is it that it was only you who could do that work or there was some other reason. Think!"
"So you want me to start my investigation from my office?"
"Yes"
"Alright, thanks grandma."
"Anytime grandson. Gotta go, god's getting pissed off there is nobody to watch over hell. Cya!"
"Err yea...cya!"
I went to the office and checked the records for the person on duty who replaced me. No official records. They were missing. Then something just struck me on the back of my head. It was Mitch. No no. Mitch didn't strike me on my head, it was the idea which struck me. It was he who did all this. It was he who helped the goods from Haiti to get in here. He couldn't do it when i was there because the report goes to my boss directly.
Just then...
"Ocean, wassup?"
"Nothing much Mitch. Sup wid ya?"
"I thought you could help me with this package delivery thing. You know the streets well, don't ya? I want this to be delivered very fast and no one here knows as well as you do."
"Okay! but what about the check up here. The goods are going to arrive here anytime now."
"It's gonna take you an hour or two to get back. Less chance for a check up. I'll make some arrangement for that."
"Hey, where is Stephen? He knows the lanes too. Its he who taught me the basics."
"Well, um..he is on leave today man."
"Oh! I see. Alright cya then once i give the package."
"Alright, cya."
I met Stephen and enquired of he was on leave that day.
"Hey Steve, wassup?"
"I'm cool except for the dead body in my bedroom. Sup with ya?"
"Can I ask ya something?"
"Sure man, anything but 'bout the dead body in my bedroom!"
"Sheesh! Who'd care about a dead body man? I'm not the LA police. So is the dead body cute?"
"Is this what you wanted to ask me?"
"No actually, wanted to ask you if you were on leave last week, the day the security breach occured?"
"No man I was very much there, but in the Operations Research department. Mitch sent me there for some work. Why do ya ask?"
"Nothing specific, jus asked."
"Ok"
"Hey man, I just remembered, I need to go change my diapers..err..data sheets, I gotta leave."
"Alright man, cya!"
"Cya!"
So my suspicion was correct. I got you fucker. I got you bloody Mitch.
"Sir, its Mitch who is behind all this."
"Behind all what?"
"The chinese goods which were smuggled and brought into the industry."
"What the heck? There are illegal stuff being smuggled into the company and you tell me now?"
"Sir, you reported to me and asked me to investigate on how this illegal stuff was smuggled in."
" What the hell are you talking about? I don't report to you. I am your superior, and you report to me."
"So that is what I am doing here, giving you the report."
"Report about what Ocean?"
"The smuggled shit you asshole."
"What the....mind your tongue you pervert."
"Oh look who is talking?"
I bend under his desk and pull out a woman and raise my brow.
The boss speaks, "Its time you got a promotion young man."
"I won't tell no one about your dirty deeds in the office cabin. Just get that Mitch arrested."
"Aye."
A loud ring interrupted my whole state of mind. It was the alarm clock. I was dreaming the whole time. It was one helluva dream. All about perceptive reality. I perceived and so it was there.
My name is Varun Chenna. Drop by at my blog if you liked this :)
No comments:
Post a Comment