Don't Turn Bad

Originally posted on Mar 5th, 2008.

Dots. Tiny ones. Connecting them is so fu*king hard! Although, all my life I was told to do that same thing. Learnt it only a million times. 'Connect the dots, son' my dad said as I stared at an abstract drawing which had just dots in it in the weekly EENADU magazine which came as a suppliment every sunday. When in the end, I connected them, I was happy at what came out of it. A simple drawing of an animal. Either a rabbit or a doe. Every sunday I woke up early, to do just that.

21 years. Hyderabad has fed me. Hindus and Muslims fought around the corner at old city every week. Telugu families in my neighbourhood, which migrated from Andhra always made fun of my Urdu mixed Telugu. Someone even called it "Urugu". Someone just said it was Telangana.

Where is hate still mongering?

"Doooood! I cannot believe you started it! You were the one who used to shun it all the time!"
"I'm a fucking hypocrite baap! I don't follow what I say."

Am I troubling enough? Not yet? How about, "I don't believe in it anymore"?

There are times. When you wished the imaginary bullets passing through your head were real. Right? When a sane thought of turning back time and starting all over again seems not just silly or ridiculous but also repugnant and obnoxious. Do I need to restate? Or wait... Am I writing a testimony?

Are you helping? How? Will you kill the mocking bird with me? I don't want to turn it into hate. I am living with that. I will die with it. Kept the faith and now trying to keep it real. You too. Keep it real.

सीख दे पर सिखियो न मानत।

All this fu*king time, I hurt. Now I'm hurted. No corrections. Spelling intended.

I just want one more thing from life. I want amnesia. I'll die for it. Tell me where do I get it? Does the US defence have it? Is MIB really true? MIfu*kingB reminds me of the same thing I wanna forget man! Fu*k!

Yours Truly
Anthony Blood.