Aug 23rd, 2007.
"No. I won't be home if you come over. Yes everything is fine with my music system. No its not your bad breath. No it is also not your weird dressing sense. No No defintely not the underpants issue. Well I am not broke but I am not going to pay for your auto-rickshaw fare on your awy back home. Yes the cologne that my brother sent is still unopened. No I am not going to open it anytime now. Alright bye."
Wham!
"Don't you hang up the landline so hard. I am going to throw your phone out"
"Sorry mom!"
Phew. It takes more than just patience to deal with this guy. Yes, it was Lapaki Loo. The pride-headed friend of mine. He wanted to come over but I had...err...issues. So had to stay away from him. Not unbearable of course.
But did you ever wonder, how comfortable it is to have a friend who can come over to your place just for the heck of it! You know, a friend who knows all the misgivings you are capable of and takes all the attitude you throw on his face but still doesn't feel shy to take out that one last tetra pack of Appy out of your refrigerator and ask you if you want a sip? No, Lapaki hardly asks that stuff although there isn't much left for me to ask by the time he gets to the refrigerator and I could grab some grub and soft drinks before he does. As if some Chimeron is gonna eat him for dinner and his last wish is to hide in my refrigerator.
Chimerons remind me of sad Tarot readers who have weird creatures on their cards. I just don't understand why Tarot card readers, Zodiac sign composers and astrolgers get so much rope in this tech savy world. Seriously, a company's performance depends on its working and not on the zodiac sign of the CEO!
"Oh hi Mr. Sep 11th, how is your company progressing?"
"Nothing new actually sir. We are still virgins in the field as you well know. How is yours?"
"Oh. I am a natural. August 19th man. My company is roaring."
"Here is Mr. Feb 6th. He recently opened up another food joint in the deep seas of Japan. Truly an Aquarian, I would say."
Was there ever a zodiac sign called "Dumboris"? Then all the people of the world who believe in zodiac signs can fit into it. No I am not trying to make fun of constellations and planetary moments. Not at all. I don't want to be hit by an asteroid when I am attending nature calls in the woods. But if people can be judged on the basis of their zodiac signs, Sigmund Freud would've been just a grandpa in an old family tree portrait hanging in the store room of the Freud family. Why do the Americans have the day-light savings? Why not leave the job to a couple of astrologers to decide when the sun will come out? For all you know they might come up with a Zodiac sign for the sun and then describe his future as - the coming 1million years might be hard for you. You might get a promotion. Little Lord Hanuman will come again and threaten to eat you. On the personal front, things won't be smooth. Kids will be troublesome. Be careful with the earth's atmosphere it may blow you up too.
Yes, I am sure they'd do that. Every local newspaper says their Tarot reader is an expert yet none of the things they say are totally true nor they match each others foresight. Just that each Chhadiwallah and each Bandiwallah claim to be the direct descendants of Sage Brahmam or Nostardamus and give us a 100 possibilites which include day to day happenings like "You will quarrel with your partner" or "Your boss will be unsatisfied with you" stuff. No denying that real time Fortune Tellers can actually predict minute things to huge calamities but what sort of people believe in Pindewallahs and Baiganwallahs who tell people that they are going to face things that day, what everyone has been facing all over the world over a long period of time now and which is only obvious?
If you can't really predict the future then I think you don't have any good reason to fool around people's sentiments for the sake of your stomach.
Psychoanalysis and Psychiatry are here to stay. Corporates are using them very well. Because they know that the only way to get the best out of their employees is to know them better, individually and suggest them methods to overcome their misanthropistic idiosyncracies and not to read out their "luck this week", "luck this month" and "Daily Fortune".
Note: Try this. Take a sunday edition of the Deccan Chronicle and then wait till wednesday. Now compare your zodiac sign's fortelling of the sunday one with the wednesday one. You'll know what I am talking about.
P.S: Surnames are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people is only a coincident.
13 comments:
varun said...
well written....well the author really has a say in this issue and makes his point clear that he doesn't believe in this astrology shit.
Sriharsha said...
That was good blog...but wat was the purpose....and i think the Lapaki charecter is very very funny but i think u shud get over him now and create another fictional one......watever it makes me laugh
noice baap...really random and well written...glad to know tht there are some people who still write for themselves
prateek aka pratsphinx said...
A very "velcro"ish post(it has all the characteristics your posts generally have). Made a fun read:)
must say dude tht u getting better by the min!! gr8 work man!
hey shiva,,,,,my random browsing left me here,,,,another good write up ,,,,,bit contradicting with slight comical touch,,,,,and proves your point.....the character "L Loo" is interesting,,,,,looking forward for more encounters and incidents with him.... :)
Santhosh said...
nicely expressed viewpoint....hav a real good time reading
Dark Angel said...
RANDOM !!!!!!
Spinebuster said...
RANDOM !!!!! wonderful, after long it was like "arre, baap! its so true..." types. Brownie points for good writing n explanation !!!!!!!
at the end ... "Lovely"
TaChi said...
loadsa stuff that keeps you reading here...love the thoughts on frnds...and yes keep writing....by the simpsons fan...duh...
Creative Shocker said...
this one was really good... but Lapaki needs to go... he's been over-used n abused in
Creative Shocker said...
I consider this to b
raul said...
ahhh...nice random thoughts....
i totally agree with
and i wanna meet this lapaki...
1 comment:
hey mr velcro, i liked ur "it took 21 years to learn" ( i hope i got it right) published in musings mgit few years ago. can u please mail me those things that u learnt...i should say they are so true...do reply me at adityasai2003. i read my mails at gmail
happy blogging.
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